Monday, October 15, 2018

How I Overcame My Shy & Introvert Tendencies & Turned Into a Bold Goal-Digger

I was talking to someone two weeks ago about how I'm such an introvert and he was so shocked to hear this! His shock shocked me! It was then that I realized that (not to toot my own horn) I have really come out of my shell compared to the person I was 2-3 years ago... So I thought today I'd share with you my story of how I overcame my shy and introvert tendencies in hopes that it might help you in one way or another.


To be completely honest, I am 100% still an introvert. 
What is an introvert? It's basically someone who re-energizes by spending time alone. 
God knows I absolutely LOVE my alone time!

However, what pushed me the most to come out of my shell was when I realized throughout my college education that the only way to survive in the real world was to push through my shyness and be bold. 
After all, the people who are more bold get the better jobs & opportunities because they know how to impress a potential employer better than a quiet girl who is afraid to talk about her achievements during the interview.


So here is how I became a bold faux-extrovert & goal-digger.

BE CONFIDENT
Fake it till you make it, if you have to.
This was a game changer, honestly. 
Yes, I struggled (& still struggle) with low self-esteem. 
Yes, I had no idea where to start. 
Yes, I am nervous as heck pretty much always!
Yes, I failed multiple times. 
However, at that point, the best you can do is just push through. 
You have to believe in yourself if you ever want anything to come about from whatever you are doing. So believe that you are a strong, beautiful, bold goal-digger. You may not feel it right now, but your mind is a powerful thing. If you tell this to yourself for several days or so, you will begin to believe it.

"If you were able to believe in Santa Clause for like 8 years, you can believe in yourself for like 5 minutes."


DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF
Truth be told, this is an almost daily struggle for me. With the world of social media, you can't help but compare yourself to other successful, beautiful, rich, smart people.
But let me tell you something... There will always be someone more beautiful, more smart, and more successful than you. Sorry, I know it's not what you may want to hear, but that's the cold hard truth.
So be the best YOU! Strive to be the healthiest, the smartest, the most successful YOU!
Someone once said that comparison is the thief of joy, and I think that is sososo true!

KNOW YOUR FACTS
You definitely don't want to go out to an interview or start a business without knowing any information. Get educated. This doesn't mean you need to go to a four year unversity, but study up on the topic you'd like to pursue in whichever way.
If it's an interview, know what you're applying for, know what the job entails, who you are interviewing with, etc. You don't want to show up to a nursing job when you only have a business degree. This is a dramatic example, but you get my point.
If this is a meeting with a brand for whatever reason, research the brand and see what others are saying about it.
If this is a sport you want to get involved with, study it and watch others play.
If this is a forum you want to join online, research the topic.
If this is anything you want to be involved in or lead, research, research, research.
Knowing information about any topic you'd like to be involved in in any way will help you approach it with so much more confidence than if you were to go into it without knowing anything about it.

FORGET THE NAYSAYERS
I mean, do they really matter to you?
If you want to do something with such a passion and you believe in yourself, does their support really matter?
Now, I'm not saying forget your parents if they don't support you. Obviously they do matter. However, pursue your passion anyway if you have such a strong urge.
Apply for that job, get involved in a hobby/activity, do you!
However, this can get a bit tricky because, depending on what you're pursuing, it may have a harmful effect on you. So do listen to the opinions that think something is harmful for you, especially if there are a lot of these kind of opinions and if they are coming from your closest circle of friends & family.
However, if your third cousin who you haven't seen for 7 years suddenly resurfaces to tell you she thinks you're making a bad business or personal decision, then you should probably forget this naysayer.
If you have a few people that you can trust and that have your best interest in mind, they can guide you if they really think you're making the best decision for yourself or not. 

PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE
Socializing and putting yourself out there will never be something you are comfortable with unless you practice a million and one times. And I'm sure you already knew this.
I went on multiple interviews before I landed a decent office job in college. But I am grateful for each and every one of those interviews because I knew that it was just practice. Plus, you will likely never see the people who didn't hire you ever again. So what's the worst that can happen? You make a fool of yourself for 30-60 minutes? It's OK! I know it may not seem like it, but that embarrassing moment will pass and they won't even remember you. You just have to keep trying, even if you don't have all of the qualifications that the company requires. You just need the practice.
I've also always been afraid to go to blogger or any social events. It's just so intimidating! I'd rather just write my blog posts and post instagram stories/photos and stay home! But this year I've challenged myself to be more proactive in this little blogger community and I've literally grown so much! Not just in my blog readers/followers, but also in my knowledge!
Plus, I've realized that everyone at blogger or other social events is also nervous about meeting others and are pretty much always wondering "But what will I talk about with him/her?!"

IF YOU LOVE IT, GO FOR IT!
Not only did this mentality apply to job interviews, but this also applies to my little blogging journey! Did you know I have been blogging since I was about 16 years old?! (I'm 24 now) I've failed and given up many many times. However, I knew that I loved this and I kept retrying. Even now, I am no big-shot blogger. But I am still doing it and hoping that one day I do actually make it to the big leagues in the blogosphere. 
So keep trying and pushing through, even if you don't feel qualified.
Nike says it best: JUST DO IT!
The perfect time will never come around.
You will never be perfectly educated to start this or that.
So just start and keep doing it as you go because you are passionate about something and your heart wants to pursue something so out of your comfort zone that you actually made it to the end of this article. So GO! There's nothing to wait for!


Hope you enjoyed this post and found it helpful in some way! Let me know in the comments if you have other tips & tricks to letting go of your shy and introvert tendencies.

Tag me on Instagram and let me know what goals you are pursuing!

♡ Alena

P. S. If you enjoyed this post, you might enjoy my post on 5 Ways You Are Sabotaging Your Week & Tips to a Lovelier Week!


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